Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Team USA advances at World Football Championships




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Team USA edged France 78-0 in the first round of the International Federation of American Football (IFAF) Junior World Championship Saturday night in Canton, Ohio...
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Team USA advances to Wednesday's semi-finals against Mexico. Team USA is made up of incoming college freshmen who were granted permission by their future college coaches to represent their country. The Mexicans were probably coached by the Penn State staff at some point.

With a win over Mexico on Wednesday, Team USA would play either Canada or Japan on Sunday in the world championship game at 1 p.m. (EDT). The game will be televised by Fox College Sports-Atlantic on digital cable. It is also going to be live on DirecTV Channel 617 and FoxCollegeSports.com via live stream.

Running back David Wilson led the USA charge against the cheese-eating surrender monkeys. The 5-foot-11, 192-pound Virginia Tech signee from Danville, Va. carried the ball 12 times for 181 yards and four touchdowns, with a long run of 60 yards for a TD.

The USA defense was equally dominant, holding France to 3.6 inches per play. [Not a typo--3.6 inches per play, i.e., 0.1 yards.]

After the game French coach Olivier Moret said the Americans "are bigger, faster and stronger, and they were more prepared. We will surrender earlier next time."

OK, we made up that last sentence, but he certainly could have said it.

And we don't mean to sound jingoistic, but why in the hell is the International Federation of American Football headquarted in La Courneuve, France instead of the good ol' U.S. of A.? That's it, no more French Fries. From now on it's Freedom Football Fries for Penn State Clips!
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